कुछ अधूरी सी ख्वाहिशें..

सोचा नहीं था जिंदगी इस कदर मोड़ लेगी,

एक प्यारी सी ख्वाहिश को पल भर में तोड़ देगी,

किसे गुनहगार कहूँ अपने इस मंजर के लिए तू बता,

शायद मैं ही एक गलत ख्वाहिश कर गया हूँ..

अनजान से इस दिल को किसी की आहट सी हो गयी थी,

और ये जान कर उस दिल को शिकायत सी हो गयी थी,

इनकार करने से क्यू मुकरते हैं वो जान ही न सका,

पर बिन इज़हार के इस प्यार की शायद उन्हें भी आदत सी हो गयी थी..

बिन सोचे ही अपने एहसासों को हम बढ़ाते चले गए,

और वो भी बड़ी शिद्दत से हमे आजमाते चले गए,

एक फासले के बाद जब लगा एक उम्मीद कर के देख लें,

और बस उम्मीदों को वो उसी पल में जलाते चले गए..

यकीन होता है अभी की कितना मजबूर हो गया हूँ,

पास करके उन्हें मैं कितना दूर हो गया हूँ,

जिंदगी उनके इर्द-गिर्द समेट सा गया हूँ,

और अब बस एक मजाक सा बनके रह गया हूँ..

दिल कहता है उनका कि वो मेरे होना नहीं चाहते,

फिर क्यू कहती है जुबाँ कि मुझे खोना नहीं चाहते,

बिन पूछे प्यार करने का एक गुनाह कर गया हूँ,

और अब अपने लिए ही एक मजाक सा बन गया हूँ..

सब कुछ बोल के अब थक सा गया हूँ,

और एक मजाक सा बनकर अब रह सा गया हूँ..

Life's turning around me..amazing!

Its 4:30 in the morning,and i got up due to a dream..dream which was making me reach in a real but past memory with someone i loved. In last 24 hours life suddenly turned it's face around me..some own relations..i ever assumed to be mine forever and then departed with leaving me astonished and alone..came back in life again surprisingly and cheerfully.
In our childhood v got to write essays on topics in schools..many short topics like Cow,postman,India,Your best teacher,Mother and many more. One of them was 'MY BEST FRIEND',which v always used to write with enjoy.In my writing the person who always took place for the designation of my best friend was only one..and he remained constant untill i left writing essays or he left me alone and changed the college after high school examinations..v were always together on our cycles till our 10th class study..slowly-2 i felt that time that he was going far from me. His new circle..his new reachings..many things were departing him from me. I felt it but i kept on meeting him in some time intervals..i also had to come Lucknow for graduation.But i kept on.
Today v enjoyed a night together in my open city and hometown 'Raebareli'. V have no permissions in home to be late at night but today v were late.After 12:30 v both got in in our respective homes..it had been 7 full years to see my that best friend in that form,in which he was when he always used be the protagonist of my essay 'My Best Friend'. It was some emotions which twisted back while sitting with him with beers in hands..i felt one of my left asset back to me suddenly. V enjoyed some moments of back life together,reached..from where we became apart..that college days were remembered.Beer was somewhere working as a catalyst. After coming home on my bed i am relaxed alot and happy beyond the limits coz really i've got one of my valuable asset back.I m happy really happy.

Enough for this time.Rest is in next. Love u and bye till then:)

An almost well finished journey!!!

Three years passed dear..
3 years...
which taught me alot learnings to face this world...
which gave me a few best relations of my life...
which gave me a good mentor of life...
& which also presented me a great mistake of life to learn from...
I still've memory for the days i came to the college as newcomer..& how very soon i became a familiar face...
I found alot good things late...& almostly all worse things early in there 3 years span.
I never found this career line difficult for me...that's not coz i selected a loose career line( perhaps i'd no idea about abcd of this line on time of entry)...it's coz i started it to prove something...yes after 2 years extermination( through world's eyes..yes i still dont see it as a waste of 2 years)..i'd alot of things to prove,& almostly i got good starting here with a Godfather's hand on my head...and under a brother's breezy shed.
Today date is 19 may 2010...time 9:10 pm...i m just trying to make a precise notes of my learning period...i've got admission in a good college...may be somewhere i m blessed,but i know that i've still...
a long way to go...
a lot things to learn...
a perfection is to get..
a lovable is to be...& still my aim of life is to be a good son of my parents..at least by the deeds(i was never a good son till now in my life...& i've pain of it)..i hope i would be able to terminate it soon.

Ok for now it's enough..rest in next meeting with my memory..it's busy alot this time...
LOVE U SO MUCH.

Being Single...is extravagant!!!

अकेला होना बड़ा ही सुकून भरा है....अगर आप हैं तो ठीक और अगर नहीं तो हो के देखिये।
वैसे अगर सब सही चल रहा हो तो चलने दो...पर अगर नहीं तो आ के देखो मेरी दुनिया में....सच..यहाँ पे खुल के हंसने के लिए बहुत कुछ है....अगर ज्यादा नहीं तो परेशान चेहरों को देख के ही खुश हो लिया जाता है...जिनके कॉलेज आने का मकसद कुछ और...और परेशानी की वजह कुछ और होती है...by the way today is the starting...लिखने के लिए कुछ पॉइंट मिल गया तो लिख दिया...आगे भी कुछ problems के solutions के साथ आऊंगा ...तब तक wating permissible.

bye bye.